LEARNING TO FORGIVE YOURSELF
Deep connection with inferiority complex Through traumatic experiences in her personal life, she has been abused and has more than thirty years of experience as a counselor, working closely with many forms of child and adult abuse. The author takes readers on a journey into the inner world of the victims, understanding the many layers of inferiority complex underneath , explaining the reasons for becoming unhappy adults. , suffering, continues to play the role of abuser or abuser in relationships with family and friends. Victims of all forms of abuse tend to blame themselves for what happened and feel bad from trauma related to being humiliated, trampled, or rejected. Victims have low or extremely low self-esteem, show signs of self-harm, constantly hear inner voices criticizing, hating themselves, seeking experiences that make We are shamed, shunned, abused to continue reinforcing the cycle of suffering . Wounded souls have a hard time establishing healthy relationships with themselves and others , so physical and emotional safety boundaries are easily violated in work and personal life. core. The importance of self-compassion Self-compassion is a precious medicine that neutralizes the poison of inferiority complex, the ability to feel and connect with one's own pain . It is a journey of fully accepting, understanding and loving the inner wounds . Self-compassion motivates victims to treat and communicate with themselves with kindness, compassion, care, and concern as if they were connected to a loved one . Self-compassion is so important on the healing journey, but why isn't it easy to do? Barriers to learning and practicing self-compassion Victims of abuse view being kind to themselves as weak, indulgent, self-destructive, believe that acknowledging pain is an expression of self-pity, and feel ashamed and helpless when it comes to pain. exposed inner wounds . Because the culture discourages acknowledging and talking about suffering, abuse victims are forced to overcome adversity and move on, not being tolerant and patient enough to give themselves time to acknowledge, feel and heal real pain. This expectation of an urgent recovery is absurd and unnatural. When victims understand the importance of stopping and needing time to heal their emotional selves, the journey of healing with self-compassion begins. A healing journey through self-compassion therapy The real healing journey encounters certain difficulties because victims of abuse gradually have to practice changing habits and old beliefs that have been deeply ingrained in the subconscious about inferiority complex . As a first step, victims need to face themselves honestly, truly acknowledging the pain caused by the abuse and the guilt it entails, and allowing self-compassion to connect deeply. with traumatic memories, repressed emotions and buried in the subconscious. By denying or downplaying their own pain, fake "I'm fine" masks can cause abuse victims to experience physical and mental health consequences. Victims have the opportunity to stop and understand the deep source of their negative reactions when exposed to outside situations and circumstances. Viewed objectively, these are intelligent ways used by the subject to avoid and cope with persistent complexes, unbearable suffering. By understanding that their behavior, actions, and reactions are controlled by traumatic childhood experiences, victims embark on a journey to untether themselves from the vicious circle of feelings. guilt, self-criticism . Over time with the right healing therapy, self-hatred, negative criticism gradually disappear, wounded souls will be more accepting, forgiving, compassionate, self-loving, creating foundation for building attitudes and habits of being kind and compassionate to oneself, seeing things in a clearer light . Self-compassion comes from a place of deep inner nourishment, has the effect of consoling, coaxing and soothing oneself, towards developing new beliefs, positive inner voice. Gradually, as self-love grows larger, wounded souls gradually experience miraculous fruits on the journey of giving and receiving love with the world around them. Receiving compassion from the world around As they embark on a journey of self-healing with self-compassion, abuse and neglect victims gradually lower their defensive walls, allowing themselves to receive sympathy and understanding from loved ones, friends and family. friends and the world around them . Those wounded souls learn to trust others again , gradually feeling that there will always be help and support, in contrast to the helpless, lost and helpless situation that haunts childhood. . Instead of being acknowledged and encouraged to express their feelings, most victims of abuse are ignored, denied, criticized, and shamed for their thoughts and feelings. The best compassion from the surrounding community for wounded souls is to listen to the source, confirm the subject's real experiences and feelings . In "Learning To Forgive Yourself," Beverly Engel wrote passionately: "When a person acknowledges how another person feels, the message that person sends is: "Your feelings matter. I am here for you, I listen to you, understand you. Your feelings are not wrong. You're not bad for what you feel."